This might be the most disempowering phrase in the entire English language. It’s the kind of phrase that can keep you stuck in a bad relationship, a bad job, a set of unhealthy habits, all kinds of things.
Watch the video below or read the blog post that follows learn more about how this phrase can cause us to waste precious years.
Today I want to talk to you about what I think might be the most disempowering phrase in the entire English language. It’s the kind of phrase that can keep somebody stuck in a bad relationship, a bad job, a set of unhealthy habits, all kinds of things. It’s this one:
“It’s not that bad.”
The problem with this phrase is that to move out of a situation that isn’t working – to make a change – we have to face the reality that something isn’t working for us. “It’s not that bad” waters that down. It’s a coping mechanism put on by the part of us that doesn’t like change – the part of us that thinks that “same” is more comfortable than “different.” That part of us can be so powerful that we will put up with an incredible amount of pain and suffering rather than taking the risk of making a change.
I see this so much with the potential clients that I talk to. As soon as I’m on the phone with somebody and they say, “It’s not that bad,” my heart sinks, because I know that phrase is the thing that’s going to keep them stuck. It’s going to keep them from seeing what’s available for themselves and taking action to get there.
I’m sure you’ve heard the analogy about boiling a frog. It’s a horrible image, but it really speaks to this idea. I don’t know if it works, and I never want to try it or find out! (No frogs were harmed in the making of this blog!). Here’s the concept: if you put a frog in hot water, it will obviously jump right out. But, if you put that frog in cold water, and then slowly turn up the heat, the frog will think, “It’s not that bad,” until it’s too late.
I think too many people are living the experience of that poor frog right now. Work has gotten more and more challenging. Demands have gone up, and resources have stayed the same or have even gone down. People are expected to do more with less, and they’re not getting the rewards, or recognition, or pay raises or promotions that they deserve as a result.
You’d think that would be enough hot water to get them to move.
But it’s not, because it wasn’t always like that. They’re somewhere that’s comfortably familiar. They work with people that they know. They have a boss that they know. They’re in a company they know. They may not like, or trust their situation, but at least it’s familiar.
All of those “knowns” make it seem comfortable, even when it’s really not. The heat has gone up over time, shifting slowly, each step accepted as “how we do things around here.”
In reality, they’re stressed out. They’re working long hours without much recognition. They’ve gotten into unhealthy habits like skipping lunch, or working late, or getting back on the laptop before bed to try to keep up. They put up with bad behavior from colleagues, and lack of appreciation from their bosses. They’ve been passed over for promotions and told over and over that it will happen “next time.”
That phrase, “It’s not that bad,” keeps them from noticing all of this. It keeps them from seeing that there could be something so much better out there for them. It keeps them from knowing that they could be doing work that is more meaningful to them. From believing they’re worthy of promotions, recognition and pay raises. Of seeing that they could be in a place where they could grow.
“It’s not that bad” wastes precious years.
We only get one shot at this life. Why settle for “it’s not that bad” when what’s really available to you is, “It’s awesome, I love what I do. I love what I get to do. I’m excited every day to work for and with these amazing people. I’m so happy that I get to do this work where I’m growing and learning and developing.”
That’s what’s available to you.
We’d love to help you get there. We’ll help you take an honest look in the mirror at your current situation, and then look at what you want. If we can help you move from, “It’s not that bad,” to, “OMG, I love this!” we will absolutely talk to you about what that could look like. If not, you will at least have taken the time to look at your current situation with open eyes, and gained clarity about what you want.
I’m telling you, there’s a world of possibility out there for you – a hopeful, exciting, interesting, world. All it takes to access it is a look in the mirror, an appointment, a conversation. What do you have to lose? You can book that call at https://www.zmcoach.com/apply. We look forward to hearing from you.